It's hard to say goodbye
by The Wayward Orphans
Summary: Why can't I just go back in time? Why couldn't I prevent you from dying? Why did I spend my last moments with you fighting!...please...I would do anything to stop this from being goodbye... Rated M for brief mention of sex, death, and language. UsUk.


Why? Why now? Why today?...Just why? Why couldn't it have been another day? Why couldn't it have been with us two together, smiling and holding our hands to the end? Why did this just have to happen today?

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Why couldn't I have saved you? WHY COULDN'T I HAVE JUST ENJOYED MY TIME WITH YOU INSTEAD OF ARGUING ON HOW TO RAISE OUR LITTLE BOY TOGETHER!? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE A DICK AND TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE IDEAS WERE STUPID!

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Why can't I just rewind time and re-do this day? So instead of arguing I would kiss you and tell you I love you and protect you from your leaders wrath. I would have made love to you and make you feel so loved, make you cry out in pleasure as I strike your prostate and hold you close as we come together. Please don't leave me. Please don't say that you're sorry. Please stop apologizing for my own mistake!

"I'm sorry...A-Al..." You whisper with a sad smile on your beautiful face. It still has a magnificent factor even though it's stained in tears. I hate it. I promised on our wedding day that I would make sure nothing made you cry, that I would always bring you joy and that the only tears that would be shed would be of happiness.

"Don't say that baby...y-you'll make it! I won't let you go you hear me! I won't let you disappear! I won't lose you! Not after losing you once already!" I say as my voice breaks. I hold your body and carry you, running towards the medical tent. The others stare at us with sadness in their eyes as they realize what happened. They make way and rush doctors our way.

"I-I love you Alfred..." You whisper as you smile a true smile at me and take your last breath. You close your eyes and pass away.

"No...no no nononononoNONONONO! Please don't leave me Arthur! Please wake up! PLEASE!" I shout before the medics can come to your aid. I fall to my knees and cradle your body in my arms. You lose warmth rapidly and I suddenly fell water rushing down from my eyes. The medics finally get to us and take you away from me. They check your pulse and keep their head down. I scream knowing that you're gone for good this time and you won't come back.

"I'm sorry...the personification of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland- No...Arthur Jones-Kirkland has...passed away..." The head medic who checked your pulse said. All the nations held their heads down as I kept screaming in pain from losing you. I held your now cold body and mourned you. Suddenly I hear our sons voice as he comes running towards me. He demands an explanation and sees you. He asks if we're pranking him and trying to teach him a lesson from when he did this to us. I wish this was a prank. His voice becomes broken as he's begging the others to tell him this is a joke. When he realizes that it isn't he wails and holds you as well. It seemed that the heaven were crying as well because it started to rain heavily as the first tear from Feliciano fell. Soon all the children cried as well and I kept wishing to g back in time. I kept saying sorry. Sorry for being everything that I promised I wouldn't be. I'm sorry for all the fights we had in the past and I'm sorry for making you suffer 200 years of loneliness. I'm so sorry for hurting you...please...please...I don't want this to be our goodbye...

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**| Highgate Cemetrey-London, England. 2013|**

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Even now, thirty years since our goodbye...it's hard to say goodbye...I know you're watching over me and our beautiful baby boy Kai but it's so hard to live without you and take care of him. Even though he isn't much of a baby anymore it's still pretty hard work without you there. Would you be mad at me if I told you that I skipped a world meeting with Kai to come here? Probably because I know you. As Kai and I put down a bouquet of Tudor roses, I feel a light gust of wind cradling my body and I smile because I know it's you. Kai smiles sadly as a tear slips down and I kneel before your tombstone and smile bitterly.

"It's so hard to say goodbye..."

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**|A/N| :') I hope that made you cry because I certainly did when I wrote this. I needed a break from writing my stories for awhile because my mom was stressing me out so I wrote this. I got some insperation by this post on tumblr, it was an audio post with "It's hard to say Goodbye" by Michael Ortega and it said: Think about Person A in your OTP holding Person B in their arms as Person B is dying while listening to this song. It was a great stress reliever and I hope you guys enjoyed it. I do not own Hetalia and nor do I own It's Hard to say goodbye. That all belongs to their rightful owners. **


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